Well, this couple missed out on a 2016 tax deduction but something tells me their precious baby boy was worth waiting for a few more days! On January 3rd her early labor started about 10pm. She followed tips on how to keep Labor progressing and follow her normal routine as long as possible. Dad checked in for suggestions during the wee hours of the morning & for help to assess labor along the way. Her active labor followed around 3:30am on January 4th, when she woke to 5 minute apart contractions. When Contractions were 4 minutes apart, lasting one minute for over an hour aka the "4-1-1 of labor" they headed to their birth place. Upon arrival to the hospital, @7am found she was 5cm dilated and they decided to admit. She labored on her side, with the peanut ball and focused on her relaxation. Unfortunately, she had one of the rooms @ CMC Main that did not have a tub 😔Finally, dad text for me to depart & grab him a Chik Fil A biscuit* on the way (don't judge -he was starving 🤣) *special thanks to Matthews location for proving dad his biscuit free of charge bc they knew I was in a rush to CMC Main during RUSH hour 😳it's not my first stop @ Chik Fil A to feed laboring couples, nope they have seen me before 😉. After my gps rerouting me nearly a half a dozen times to get me around bumper to bumper traffic, I finally arrived and of course, the parking deck was full as usual but something told me to hurry. Even though Melissa & Adam had only a couple of hours training with me, they clearly did their homework! She meant business with her relaxation! And, although I was unaware at the time their baby boy was in a race to beat me into the room. Luckily, I ran from parking deck to the 8th floor as quickly as possible. Baby & I arrived @ the same time! With supportive nurses and dad cheering, as well as 8 entered the room. Bright eyed and with precious white vernix still present on his velvet skin, he weighed in @ 7pounds 6oz, 20 3/4 inches long. Drug free & perfect in every way!! Very attentive to mom & dad, staring straight into their eyes. Shortly thereafter, joined by both sets of grand parents it was quite the happy "birth"day party! The party drink of choice, The Bradley Cocktail aka Orange Juice, which never tasted so good till after you have given birth and ran your labor marathon!! Dad finally was able to enjoy that biscuit, mom enjoyed a new baby in her arms and then they switched off. Dad kept baby warm skin to skin as I pampered mom with a well deserved lavender leg & foot massage. I am so proud of these two for their dedication to bring their baby into the world in the safest way possible, low intervention and drug free! YourBirthHelper.com commends you both for educating, applying, believing & achieving Your Birth, Your Way! Another what I like to call the John 16:21 birth marathon well ran!! I asked Melissa to share some tips for all the upcoming moms as to what she felt helped her progress while in the comfort of her home: The few days prior to labor I sat on my exercise ball a good bit a bounced, stretched, ate all kinds of different cuisine and half glass of wine, and walked some. Yup, it really can be that simple. Don't complicate labor, your body knows what to do and 94% of the time, interventions are not needed. #OneProudDoula #OneProudChildbirthEducator #naturalbirth #YourBirthHelpercom #BirthFamily #DoulaAssistance #ChikFilA

How well do you know your expectant wife? Well, Gabe matched almost every one of Lindsay's answers in our workshop! The question to the photo below was, "What is MOM most looking forward to?" Answer: Getting the baby out!! More specifically Lindsay strongly desired a baby naturally. She knew she had her work cut out for her as VBAC carries its own set of challenges, but she knew it could be done. In fact, our YBH teams help couples successfully VBAC regularly and many also achieve it naturally, as well. Lindsay and Gabe had their initial consult with Doula, Nancy Cook, BSN, YBHD to discuss a plan for VBAC success. Nancy shared, yes it can be done, but very honestly the couple had their work cut out for them. You see, in a VBAC scenario, we must get mom into natural labor as induction is not offered to attempt vaginal birth after cesarean. Also, she would be subject to more constant monitoring after 6cm so freedom to move about and use tub could be challenged. Even with the wireless monitor, there are still limitations. Also with VBAC, comes a higher use of epidural, in which she was not completely opposed. However, she firmly believed the epidural is what created the issue in which she had surgery the first time. Her ultimate goal was Drug-free labor and birth, if all possible. Nancy explained with good nutrition, daily exercise/ staying low risk and preparing her birthing muscles, it was very possible she could do just that! She understood her homework and immediately began preparing both her body and mind. Together, with her husband, acquiring the knowledge to overcome obstacles they could experience along the way, she gained more and more confidence. They were functioning as a solid team and this newfound determination would soon play a huge part of their success! When we talk about labor averages and giving birth, statistically speaking, the length of uninterrupted rhythmical contractions for a first time mom in active labor is around 15-17 hours, with the average length of push phase 1-2 hours unmedicated and 3-4 hours with use of epidural. The funny is, labor and birth are so unique, not just for each woman, but also for each individual child they give birth to. In the second birth story of Gabe and Lindsay Beverly, the goal was vaginal birth after cesarean surgery. Her first labor progressed well. She achieved 10cm dilated, but sadly at Gastonia hospital pushing with an epidural was not very supported. Little if any assistance, in fact, what was encouraged was giving up and going into surgery. Unfortunately, we hear these stories all the time. Now, understand we are all grateful for life saving interventions. However, when these same interventions are used simply to shorten labor or push phase, or routinely on the masses when not medically necessary, this is when couples feel very cheated. Particularly, when a near term hormonal woman in the heat of labor is not encouraged... well you see where this ends up. One way to help prevent such outcomes is GET EDUCATED! Shown below, Lindsay and Gabe attended several Your Birth Helper Intensive Labor workshops. Our YBH workshops are currently held in Charlotte, NC and Athens, GA. Couples invest two hours packed full of specific information, activities and practice to understand basics of labor, how to work with their body, how Dad can help, how to overcome common obstacles/ variations of labor, how to understand and acquire informed consent in the event of complications, positioning, push phase techniques, etc. As you can see, we have a Fun time while cramming as much into workshop as possible. Then our work was cut out for us keeping mom a viable candidate for VBAC, as around 34 weeks midwife Lisa Nona suspected Lindsay’s fluid level was high. She was sent for ultrasound and everything checked out fine. One hurdle jumped! Also, mom had an internal exam check at 36 weeks when Dr. Alvarez did the strep b swab. Of course, mom was nothing dilated, etc. as few are this early, but since induction is not an option for VBAC candidates, any release of natural prostaglandins can be helpful. Typically, our clients try to delay internal exams to around 39/40 weeks, because most carry 8 days over their due date. At 38 weeks, Lindsay was 50% effaced. At 39 week appointment, mom chose to not be checked again. The 40 week appointment, midwife, Lisa Nona said she couldn't determine if baby was still head down. This, of course, stressed mom out. She didn't want to have another internal exam (she just wasn’t feeling it), but midwife insisted she thought baby's head wasn't down. Then, mom was informed, the midwife couldn't reach cervix or baby internally and once again Mom was sent for ultrasound. The ultrasound revealed Baby was in fact head down. That same appointment midwife sent Lindsay home with Hibicleanse and a scheduled section date. This is where VBAC clients have to dig down deep and do their best to keep stress down. Stress will not help us get into natural labor in fact it further releases adrenaline in the pregnant body and adrenaline keeps contractions at bay. As anyone can imagine its a tough situation to not become discouraged and disparaged. But again, sometimes you must follow your gut and assume the risks associated with your personal decision making. Mom was not ready to give up and did not feel comfortable with repeat surgery. In fact, she was feeling cheated all over again. She and Gabe were doing everything in their power to get labor going, even scheduled acupuncture with our own Stephanie Crowley (in our #CharlotteBirthFamily) but unfortunately, it started out far from relaxing and helpful as someone backed into her in the parking lot and they had to wait almost an hour for an officer to arrive... more stress. Stephanie was able to work her back in and still see her and even offered relaxing tea while she waited. The other stress was what to do with their two year old white they tried to commence labor, during night try to get full nights sleep and tending to another child when we are trying to get another one out can be far from relaxing. The day was drawing near and labor was still absent. She had experienced some small bouts of contractions, but they always seem to fizzy out. The surgery date was rapidly approaching and Lindsay had to do some soul searching. She simply was not prepared to have a repeat c-section simply because she was 41 weeks. She canceled her appointment and asked for it to be rescheduled. She also solidified her decision with a visit to Dr. Alvarez to once again verify both she and baby were fine. Everything checked out fine and she went home to work work work and prep her body for labor. Her efforts paid off. Contractions intensified and Dad was right there assisting and supporting her along the way. Lindsay endured hours of labor Kudos to Mom and Dad for educating, preparing, executing and achieving such a special all natural journey! It was no doubt, quite a different, much happier outcome, from the first epidural / cesarean experience they had been encouraged to have after 10cm in Gastonia when things got tough. Lindsay and Gabe would like to strongly express; the time, energy and work associated with properly "training and giving birth" may sound overwhelming at times, but the benefits after are so vast and so worth your best efforts! Know this, if mom and baby are okay, you still have options to stay the course both are evidence based choices. Also, consider wisely how medical interventions may serve you in meeting your goals. For example, after four long hours of pushing Lindsay was very exhausted, as pushing in any position is taxing physically. Dr. Lauder suggested the use of the Kiwi vacuum, due to baby's asynclitic head position and longer than normal crowning phase. Mom and Dad weighed the risks and benefits and agreed. Trained in its use, Tammy Reyes, CNM easily applied since head was in full crown and easily with one push, mom helping moved baby right along. I was fortunate to have arrived from Georgia shortly after and with couple more contractions baby emerged and the birthday celebration began! Twelve hours of hard labor - four of which were pushing. Lindsay displayed great strength, power and was such a warrior woman throughout it all and Gabe, never left her side. Lindsay's recipe for success: "train with Your Birth Helper, switch to supportive practice, (if mom & baby are fine) avoid induction by doing the work to get into labor, have a trained husband coach, Doula support with the #CharlotteDoulaDreamTeam! That's what helped me remain drug free during labor and just keep pushing, pushing, pushing even when tired." As an English teacher and writer herself, she now finds that words could never adequately express her gratitude to all who supported her. I replied, "no worry, the smile on your face after pushing your baby out said it all!"

Our own Nikki Reeves, happened to be teaching a childbirth class at Emory- Decatur hospital when she found herself giving a live demo on PROM, commonly known as, premature rupture of membranes. It seems as so many babies love to do, her plans for Easter Sunday would be crashed. But, before we move forward and exchange the Stork with the Easter Bunny, let's go backward to what led up to this special day. Nikki was selected as a YBH candidate to train in our elite Doula Apprenticeship Program. In her initial application essay, she expressed she formerly experienced two traumatic epidural births, followed by postpartum depression. She was hoping to explore options and be better informed for her third birth. We simply say it this way, plan for "Your Birth - Your Way." She expressed a strong desire to then share the knowledge she obtains to help others have happier "birth" days! And, that is exactly what Nikki did. She began training with me over a year ago. She completed her course in The Bradley Method®. She became a YBH Certified Childbirth Educator. She holds certificates with ICEA, as well. She completed training in KOPA BIRTH prep and is eager to share how preparation is key to success with others. On Nikki's first trip to Charlotte with me, she was able to experience the excitement of the many couples who attended, how they valued the extensive information and desired more. You see sometimes, we have to expose couples to little nuggets of information so they can see the value in what we share. Once those couples have seeds of childbirth knowledge, they then long to have their seeds watered and then before we know it, that little seed has transformed into a "strong power team" plant ready to thrive and hold up to the elements of labor and birth. Education makes all the difference. Nikki and her husband know this first hand. Todd is a school teacher and formerly Nikki was also. They both know quality education matters! The above photo alone represents three epidural free births: one all natural surprise caught by dad at home(Bradley Method students), a 3 day medical induction for pre-eclampsia/ use of nitrous during transition (trained in YBH workshops) and a second spontaneous drug free labor. Nikki had lots of exposure to women who with education were acquiring their target birth experiences and she was very encouraged. Then the couple began training together. Todd attended a Your Birth Helper labor workshop where he learned how to assist his wife in managing contractions. Nothing like getting your learning on in the country @ M2b Family Farm. It was a fun filled two hours of coaching techniques, positioning and labor tips. Nikki was also able to attend her YBH weekend Doula Training in the north Ga mountains. She enjoyed all the practice / demonstrations. Nikki had formerly accepted a position at Emory Decatur hospital teaching childbirth classes. With four weeks out from her own due date, the last thing she was anticipating during her last class, was have her own water break. But, crazier things happen and what better way for the class to learn. Shown below, minus her wet matching leggings... lol. Nikki phoned me from the restroom, (poor thing). I reminded her of early water break precautions: possibility of cord compression unless head engaged, smaller baby, NICU help, taking temperature once an hour, wiping front to back, unknown group b strep, etc. many reasons to excuse herself from class and make her way back toward her house. They would welcome their surprise gender in Athens using St. Mary's hospital as their choice of birth location. A few hours later in triage Nikki learned she was 5cm dilated, 80% effaced, confirmed water break and she would be admitted. The birth was attended by Hillary Midler, CNM of Women's Healthcare Associates and the Your Birth Helper Athens Doula Team. I also had planned a very special honorary doula of the day, Alisha Berkland. Alisha was the first mom in labor that Nikki attended bedside as Doula! How special to have Alisha pay it forward and not only be there for her, but be empowered bedside, as well. It wasn’t long after that with walking and key positions labor started progressing. Her husband Todd was a very attentive labor coach and reminded her to sink down with each contraction. We dimmed the lights, put some relaxing music on and focused on finishing the job and getting Nikki a baby in her arms. Pitocin was utilized to help lengthen and strengthen her contractions. As the labor progressed, Todd encouraged and supported his wife physically, emotionally and mentally. They had created life together and together they would bring forth life. We finished off her cervix in the tub and attempted labor down, until suddenly Nikki proclaimed, “pressure -pressure- it’s coming!” We had just enough time to transition Nikki back from tub to the bed before involuntary uterine urges began taking over and pushing for her. Literally, with the first contraction in which I corrected her pushing technique, out emerged her baby like a rocket in it’s own astronaut capsule. Midwife Hillary and Dad had just enough time to help catch. Born “en caul“ her midwife attempted to peel the membranes off baby‘s head, but ended up needing scissors to cut and remove baby from its own Easter Egg shell. We just love a surprise gender birth... Nikki announced the gender, “It’s a BOY!” to the room and the cheers erupted! Skin to skin she speaks directly to him and encourages him to breathe and talk to her. Dad does the same. Shown below, (left to right), Doula Appentice Amanda Allen, Alisha Berkland, Doula Candidate, the proud mama and Your Birth Helper. We were so excited to be part of Nikki’s #SymbioticBirth journey and no doubt, her training and practice paid off, as she experienced her first epidural free birth. Baby weighed in 4lbs 5 oz and NICU worked their magic. Todd gives mom a congratulations kiss and accompanied the baby upstairs. Having achieved a natural birth, Nikki was thrilled about how good she felt afterwards. And, just a short time later, she was able to head upstairs to feed her baby. Congratulations, Reeves family party of Five! Something tells me your Resurrection Sunday, April 20, 2019 will forever bring special memories for us all. Welcome to the #BirthFamily Stryker! With your sudden appearance into the world, I just bet you will live up to your name!

How do you uncover the JOY of your BIRTH when everything that played out near term is still completely surreal? When you have a free moment to ponder... but, I had an uneventful pregnancy, how did everything go wrong so quickly and my birth plans loss in the process? This is the story of John and Rebecca Hopkins of Greensboro, Georgia. In one of their childbirth classes Dr. Emily Parham shared how she received news of her baby having heart defect requiring surgery and was also faced last minute with medical induction... hard news to swallow, but when John and Rebecca and classmate Jennie heard her story none of them had any idea the stumbling blocks they themselves would face during their own labors. This is why we prepare couple for a little bit of everything and teach how to receive and give informed consent, understanding how medical interventions can help and benefit them, etc. I call it #SymbioticBirth for short. The best of normality, coupled with medically necessary interventions to keep mom & baby safe. Some think the best plan of action is do whatever their medical team suggests, avoid childbirth education, save your money, even skip labor altogether and just plan surgical removal of your baby, but they don't quite understand what they are signing up for. It may be that you are in agreement with what the medical team is suggesting, it may be you would like to be made aware of your other options. Here is the problem in allowing others to make those decisions for you, there is no turning back ~ no re do's in labor and birth. Therefore, we must be confident in our decision making and accept both the risks and benefits of medical intervention. There are so many things that could potentially play out the last few weeks of pregnancy, during labor, birth and during postpartum. If you do not possess a basis of understanding of such, you could very quickly find yourself overwhelmed, totally stressed out and feeling completely helpless during what is commonly known as the domino effect: one routine intervention, that leads to others to medical intervention, then another and then another. BREATHE... that you have control over. Deep breath in and deep breath out and repeat. Stay in order no skipping bases when we are faced with medical induction, because there is no going backward. If we skip ahead we may loss an option that is no longer available to us. We must press toward progress when trying to get a baby into this world. Sometimes that progress comes naturally and sometimes that progress is man made for example, an amniotomy (artificial rupture of membranes). John and Rebecca had their share of challenging decision making. Text From Rebecca: This is the first time I’ve checked my phone since coming to the hospital. It’s been a whirlwind and the scariest 2 days of my life. Long story short- had super large hemorrhoid that they lanced on Monday then scheduled induction at 8pm. I was having contractions on my own when I got here. Did cervidil for about 10 hours. Lidocaine jelly to the rectum. Two doses of stadol through the night. Epidural at 0630 then pitocin. Labored a while. Baby tanked with heart rate in 40's for what seemed to be 10-15 min after I moved positions. They brought in the Calvary. Baby recovered. We tried pushing a bit then labored down for an hour. At 530 I pushed for two hours with no change. Baby's head was cocked to the side and he wouldn't descend. They tried a lot of manual repositioning. I had temp spike of 101. Group B strep positive. Sent over to OR at that point. Emergency c-sec. baby is in NICU for meconium aspiration. I still haven’t held him yet. John has been up to see him several times. I went up around midnight. He was born at 8:10pm last night. 6lbs 15oz 20.5 in long! And yes ITS A BOY!!!!!! Mom shared postpartum blood loss / other concerns: Just pumped for the first time. Trying to help contract the uterus. I lost 300ml blood standing up from the wheelchair last night. It was a bit worrisome. Warrior mom Rebecca endures unexpected surgery, coupled with borderline hemorrhage, combined with a hemorrhoid requiring surgery to repair and it didn’t stop there... she later learned the baby had a skull divet from excessive pushing which would also require surgical repair. Below is her personal motherhood journey from surprise conception to mommy guilt. Her story is full of raw emotion, is extremely transparent and written by Rebecca in her own words. If you are a struggling new mom, YOU are NOT ALONE! Read on and be encouraged... My Birth Story: The months before... So let's back up to when the pregnancy test came out positive and I almost had a panic attack. My husband, John, and I had decided to 'try to have a baby' just one month before. I thought we would have AT LEAST a couple months of fun before this happened but God thought otherwise. I was with my sister in law when I took the second test, you know the expensive one that says PREGNANT in really big bold letters, and I nearly choked when she said those words out loud. The only thing I could think of was 'If I could turn back time' by Cher. I then get a text from John that states "ummmm is this a positive pregnancy test?". Turns out I left the cheap one on the bathroom counter when I left the house like a mad woman. So I came home and that was that. I gave him the chocolate bar that was labeled 'best dad ever' we received the previous Father's day at church and we sat on the couch in silence and disbelief. And so the adventure began. We decided to go 'all natural' and take a 12 week Bradley Method course with a doula and everything. I didn't realize how little I knew about pregnancy, labor and birth until we started those classes in January of 2019. We met up near Athens every other week for a couple months at Pam's (our doula) house and got our learn on. John and I practiced labor techniques, meditation, meal plans and so on as we prepared for our little one's grand entrance to this world. I learned to do kegels like a BOSS. We didn't know the gender, which drove most people insane, but we absolutely loved the anticipation and surprise factor. I had our bags packed and several playlists ready at week 36. Got a stomach bug from work at week 37 and thought I was going into labor but nope. I worked my last shift in the ER at week 39 and then came home to rest and nest. Week 40 came and went without any signs of labor. I floated in the pool, drank olive oil, tried weird food and walked until I could walk no more. Then Don came... Rewind to about week 26 when I had, what I thought, was the biggest hemorrhoid of all time. We even named it Don just because. Work was stressful and I have had hemorrhoid flare-ups since nursing school when I get super stressed/nervous. THEY ALWAYS GO BACK WHERE THEY CAME. This time was a bit different. We tried every preparation H product available, witch hazel, epsom salt baths, sitting on the donut and even sugar. That's right. John LITERALLY poured sugar on it without much change. Husband of the year award (while Def Leppard plays in the background). After many prayers and tears, The Good Lord took Don and put him back...or so I thought. Fast forward to 40 weeks and 6 days. DON RETURNED WITH A VENGEANCE. Not only was this thing the size of a plum, I was super pregnant and the pressure was out of this world. I cried for 3 days. Sat on ice packs, used essential oils on top of my usual methods as mentioned above and prayed my heart out. Don was here to stay. How could I possibly push out a baby if I couldn't even walk? I called the OBGYN and scheduled an appointment at 41 weeks. The nurse asked if I had tried witch hazel and I could've come through the phone in frustration. I get it. Hemorrhoids. How bad can they be? Slap some witch hazel on it and float on, right? NOPE. So we went to the office and I waddled in slowly with my husband in tow. The midwife took a look and said "I'll be back shortly. Gonna consult with the senior midwife on call real quick". She came back and sent us to the colorectal surgeon's office to have this thing lanced. You don't want to know the details of that visit...trust me. Once again, John received the husband of the year award. Long story short, they lanced Don and told me to soak in a warm tub asap and that the lidocaine would only last 45 minutes. We about ran to the van, got a hotel room and put my bum in the tub. Those 45 minutes of numbification were sweet, sweet bliss. Then the real fun started. We were told to check in to the hospital at 8pm for my induction, since things went south.. literally! When that lidocaine wore off, I was in complete MISERY. I called the hospital and they said we could go ahead and come in at that time, which was about 7:15pm. John helped me wobble to the van and to the hospital we went. I wasn't able to sit in the wheelchair, as sitting caused extreme pain, so I shuffled myself to L&D and stood there waiting for my room to open up. The nurse was clearly not expecting me until 8pm and I was totally throwing a kink in her chain. I get it. As a nurse myself, I have given the looks and been frustrated when things get a bit off kilter. We walked to the very last room at the end of the hallway and I attempted to get into a gown and stretcher without completely losing my mind. Turns out I was already having contractions and didn't know it. The midwife came in, took a peek then proceeded to tell me that the midwife I saw at the office called her and said "it's the biggest hemorrhoid I've ever seen and I don't know what to do". If that's not some perspective on what we were dealing with, I don't know what is. Labor... So at this point I was 1-2 cm dilated and my entire body was shaking from being so tense and in pain. I GOT THE DRUGS. Stadol was my very best friend for a couple of hours. Did it take the pain away? Not even a little. But I was able to relax some and lay somewhat still while in a strange Stadol trippy fog. Cervidil was then started and yes, it does in fact, feel like sandpaper in the vagina. They don't tell you these things before you decide to get knocked up. John helped me to the bathroom several times where I straddled the toilet to pee and then globbed on the lidocaine jelly to ole Don. It was as terrible as it sounds. At 5:30 am, I was at about 4cm. Time for the epidural. I was absolutely freaked about this part. So many horror stories of going numb forever and being paralyzed from the epidural going wrong. This was the sole reason I wanted a natural birth. Too bad my rectum had other plans. So I received my epidural around 6:30am, and after 2 attempts, I couldn't feel from my waist down. HALLELUJAH and PRAISE THE LORD for this relief. Amp up the Pitocin and let's get this show on the road! They started my antibiotics because I was Group B Strep positive and I took a little nap to gear up for the big event. So, every time I changed positions, baby's heart rate would drop significantly for a couple minutes and then come back up. We played that game the entire time I was in labor. My parent's were there for a visit and I suddenly felt really weird. Chest pains and nausea. Something wasn't right. I told John, my parents stepped out and we called the nurse. I decided to try a different position, but this time, baby did not recover in a timely fashion. The next thing I remember is the nurse calling for help, dropping the stretcher down so I'm on my head, holding my own oxygen mask to my face and everyone getting flustered. "Call the doctor! Get the midwife!" I thought to myself, we've made it this far little one. You can't go out on me now. John's face was white as snow. They turned me and mashed on my belly over and over. The doctor came in and checked on things, then baby's heart rate came back up. Thank the Lord. The midwife made it to the room shortly after this and decided to break my water and possibly start pushing. I was about 9-10cm and it was around 4:30pm when this happened. So she broke my water and it was filled with meconium. Of course it was. I was not the LEAST bit surprised. We pushed for about 15-20 minutes without any progress so we decided to labor down for about an hour and see what baby wanted to do. 5:30pm. Let's push this baby out. The plan was to only push a short amount of time due to the hemorrhoid and pressure. Nobody wanted that thing to rupture and bleed. Well, we ended up pushing over 2 hours and nothing happened. Contractions were every 1.5-3 minutes now and baby wasn't descending down the birth canal at all. They tried several times to manually turn his head to help with the descent, since I wasn't able to move and change positions on my own. I felt like this lasted an eternity and pushed with everything I had at each contraction. Then I vomited and spiked a temp of 101 which was concerning given my Group B strep status. Then these words came from my doctor's mouth..."We need to get the baby out by c-section". The words I did NOT want to hear. I burst into tears, my midwife hugged me and said, "Baby needs to come out. He can't do this for much longer and isn't moving at all. I know you don't want this, but we have to get him out now". My husband and I said okay, let's have this baby. John prayed over me and they rushed us over to the operating room. At 8:08pm, our little baby was born. I couldn't help but weep tears of relief and joy when I first heard him cry. John went over to assess the situation and came back to me whispering "It's John Amos. We have a son!" The NICU team began bedside working on little man for what seemed like forever. I saw our precious boy for a couple seconds and they whisked him off to NICU for breathing issues after taking in some meconium. They stitched me up and we went back to the room. I couldn't stop shaking, which was very annoying and also common after a spinal. I actually asked (with tone and feeling) the nurse for a muscle relaxer or something and she kindly replied no. My sister in law and I laugh at that request now. I was pretty much done emotionally, physically and spiritually at that point. After our visitors left for the evening, it was my turn to go up to the NICU. I mustered up every ounce of strength that I had left to get up and see that precious gift from God. What a strange visit...I felt like I had been hit by a bus or something. I did not feel like a mother. I did not feel a bond. I forced myself to look at him and pretend but it felt like a dream. I wanted to see him so that I felt like a mom but that's not what happened. I honestly didn't feel like I had a baby...just some weird and terrible surgery. We went back down to the room and I stood up out of the wheelchair to get in bed. Blood poured down my legs and the nurse acted fast. We worked together and got me lying flat and started massaging my uterus to stop the bleeding. She called for help and they all came running. In the end, we got it taken care of and I didn't dare move for the next 12 hours. During the next 4 days we moved rooms twice, made a hundred trips to the NICU, cried while trying to pump and run the colostrum up to the baby, cried while taking care of Don and cried because I felt like a complete failure. On the last day, he was circumcised and sent home with 2 people he had barely spent any time with. Talk about a rough night. Over the next 3 weeks, I continued to struggle emotionally. I guess it was a combo of PTSD and depression/anxiety. I stopped breast-feeding after a month of agony and sleep deprivation. This decision to stop was a HUGE battle between myself and my husband. He wanted me to keep it up and I wanted to stop and go full formula. At some point, I realized I was losing myself and needed to give something up to breathe again. I felt like a slave to the pump and that I couldn't catch up. John Amos was already used to a certain amount of formula from being in the NICU. Someone would be feeding him and I just sat and pumped for the next round staring out the window wishing I was someone else, somewhere else. I did not feel a bond with JA. I wanted to abandon ship and walk away from my family. I had some seriously dark thoughts during these couple weeks that I didn't know were possible. This baby was prayed over a thousand times before and after conception. I read and printed out bible verses and encouraging quotes weeks before he came. I DRENCHED myself in songs of worship and praise the entire time I was pregnant. Why did this happen? Why can't I bond? Why am I not happy or joyful? When I decided to strictly feed with formula, I felt a HUGE weight lifted off my shoulders. It was like a breath of fresh air. I was also starting to move around a little better and heal quickly from the c-section. By the way, c-sections are no joke. They are major surgery and should not be taken lightly. When JA was born he had a depressed skull fracture, meconium aspiration and a fever. He was pumped with IV antibiotics, given an oxygen tent, had an MRI of his brain and an xray of his chest. This kid had gone through a lot by the end of his first week on this Earth. We were referred to a neurosurgeon at Scottish Rite in Atlanta and were scheduled to have his skull repaired before he was a month old. My last time pumping was in the hospital on the night of his surgery. Talk about a roller coaster. Seeing your baby come out of anesthesia is quite scary. As weird as it sounds, I think I finally felt like a mother when he had his craniotomy. The bond was beginning to form and it has continued to grow since. He was 10 weeks old at the time I journaled our birth story and is doing so well. Buutttt...getting used to the extra weight, stretch marks and scar tissue is an ongoing battle. My abs still burn most of the time and Don is still hanging around...literally...but I hope to wipe on a smooth surface by the end of the year! Moral of the story... Women ROCK. I longed to have a natural vaginal birth. My birth plan was super crunchy granola and I was so proud of the prep we did prior to that day. BUT things don't ever go as planned. Do I regret taking Bradley classes and preparing with our Pam? Not even a little. We used all that knowledge to make educated decisions during labor and never once hesitated. I have learned so much about empathy through these past 10 weeks and I know it will help me as a nurse. Working in the ER for 10 years can make you pretty jaded and harsh at times. I have looked at my patients the way that nurse looked at me when we checked in because I didn't believe them. I get it; we've all been burned. But sometimes it's real, and empathy can change the way I care for people and treat them throughout their stay. I have so much more respect for women, mothers, depression and anxiety. I judged pretty hard before experiencing birth and I'm glad the Lord opened my eyes. 'Maternity Leave' should really be called 'Maternity Grieve'. It's a time of intense change and a lot of grieving, depending on the trauma of labor and the postpartum experience. We have to grieve to heal. Being a mom is HARD. I saw a post on facebook that was a game changer for me when dealing with "mom guilt". I felt guilty for using drugs during labor, having an epidural, having a c-section, not solely breastfeeding, giving up breast feeding completely, having thoughts of abandonment and not bonding with my son. For a while, it was like I was babysitting and he wasn't even mine. The post basically said, "If you have grown a baby in your body, you are a rock star!" PERIOD. Seeing this changed my mindset and I started to not only accept my birth story, but become proud of it. After reading that quote, I began a new kind of healing and thinking. Instead of 'breast is best', I started saying 'fed is best'. I decided to no longer beat myself up and begin focusing on my sweet son who I hadn't really seen amidst the anxiety and stress after labor. The nurse practitioner reminded me and John that all a baby really needs is food and love. It's easy to get lost in how your baby arrives and how to care for him or her. I was more than glad and thankful for the reminder. Things did NOT go like I thought or planned. But God is GOOD and His love never fails. So I'm gonna wrap this up by saying, Tits up. Women rock and mothers are super heroes. Feed your kid. Love your kid. The End.

A very special shout out to new DAD aka husband Drew, for being such an attentive supportive labor coach and my hands during their virtual doula support! It was super fun to enjoy active labor with Rose by phone while we were awaiting Drew's arrival home from work. Also, what a testament that even when their cell phone died in late labor, they felt so ready & prepared that baby followed not long after! Special thanks to all the medical team who encouraged this couple in meeting and exceeding their goals for their birth! They prepared for natural birth together and together they brought their precious daughter into this world drug-free! Your Birth Helper and Team was thrilled to have helped them train and execute labor. Rose's amazing hospital team included awesome labor and delivery nurses & lots of TLC provided by the NICU unit during Miss Lottie and her parents stay! We can not thank the newest addition to the Tina Hayes team, midwife Sarah Schubert, CNM, enough as well!!! Sarah welcome and thank you for taking such good care of our Your Birth Helper Birth Family!

Many couples experience a vast array of challenges. For some it begins with attempting to conceive, for others during pregnancy, trying to get into labor, obstacles during labor or birth and even postpartum and breastfeeding. Any of these scenarios can be extremely frustrating. For years, I have educated and encouraged women to manage such anxiety and stress in the best individual way possible for them. What may help some women, does not work for others. That's where the word "individual" comes in. Ever noticed, most women love to have control over certain situations, gain control over others and often fear losing control? It is not our fault. It is how the creator decided to wire us. However, one of the greatest lessons I can teach a woman is how to release the desire for "more control and simply keep it simple" each day. Simple as in focus on what you DO have control over. Take pregnancy for example. You do have control over daily nutrition, daily exercise, avoidance of harmful things, to educate and train for labor, learn how to relax and best manage contractions, etc., but we do not have direct control over some variations and/ or complications which could present. Therefore, to eliminate undue stress and anxiety, one must keep it simple and do what we CAN control each day. We must leave the rest to mother nature complimented by excellent healthcare providers. This was also the case for second-time mom, Mallory McCall. Mom Mallory had faced multiple challenges the first pregnancy including being placed on bedrest at 33 weeks due to growth restrictions with her daughter Everly's belly. Maternal fetal medicine kept that monitored. The couple had not trained or planned to manage their first labor drug-free. More challenges followed after Ambien was administered to her. An emergency c-section followed as her baby's heart rate tanked shortly after. Dad was not allowed to witness the birth due to the unexpected turn of events. Mom endured general anesthesia and sadly was not awake to see her baby born and their daughter was isolated in NICU the first 24 hours of her life because of low oxygen and low blood sugar. Needless to say, the couple desired a much different experience the second time around. Mallory & Scotty both desired a much different outcome and began making plans to experience a #SymbioticBirth. We use the term Symbiotic Birth to reflect a birth experience in which Mom gets the best of normality in the childbirth process (as it applies to her individual health), limiting the experience to only medically necessary interventions, not routine care. Therefore, the healthier mom and baby, the less medical intervention that has to occur and when medical interventions are warranted, Mom and Dad play an active role in decision making after informed consent, of course. This pregnancy, Mallory reached out to me to help plan her happy "birth" day. We spoke over dinner how Your Birth Helper could assist her in navigating a completely different more enjoyable birth experience. I referred her to Piedmont OBGYN after she shared her birthing goals with me. Especially, since if she were to experience repeat surgery, however unlikely, she still had options and could have an enjoyable birth experience with a few significant changes. First up was staying healthy and low risk through emphasis on her own well being. She was delighted to have knowledge and assistance from one of our favorite chiropractors, Dr. Kelly Helmendach. She found the information and suggestions on healing her thyroid to be a great benefit to her overall health. With her desk job and the issues that followed Covid with constant mask wearing, she enjoyed the chiropractic care, as well. Special thanks to Dr. K for always taking such good care of our Your Birth Helper mamas and babies! The couple attended a live YBH labor workshop (before the Covid outbreak) and also a virtual class to increase their knowledge of how the body works and managing their labor. Mallory's focus on her nutrition, daily exercise and meditation helped her manage her blood pressure, swelling and avoid poor outcomes near term. In fact, she made it this time successfully carrying to 40 weeks and 4 days. Her body unfortunately refused to join in during her spontaneous labor efforts and her second journey ended with a scheduled repeat cesarean. However, the couple couldn't have been happier. Why? (you might ask) Because, their wishes were not just supported, they were also encouraged. Encouraged to remain healthy and low risk, encouraged to do their part to bring about spontaneous labor. They were part of every decision leading up to their due date and beyond. Unfortunately, medical induction is not permissible in a VBAC attempt due to increased risks for mom including higher incidence of uterine rupture. She did experience some light Braxton Hicks contractions and certainly had some fun with all the long walks, weird food and natural ways to help. She and Scotty, had much peace in regards to their decision to move forward after her due date came and went. They could not say enough good things about Dr. Steele and labor and delivery nurse Karen! Thank you both for the TLC on surgery day. The couple had a few extra requests which were happily obliged including delayed cord clamping in the operating room, photographs (especially since this was dads first time witnessing his baby being born. Congratulations and welcome to the world Briggston Steele McCall, weighing in at 7lbs 15 oz, 20.75" long and an extremely healthy vibrant boy! Mom and dad are so grateful to all of those who contributed directly or indirectly in their happy "Birth" day!

Dear World, This is the real life fairy tale journey of how little Princess Edin Lee came to be. It all began far, far away in the Queen City of Charlotte, NC. She weighed in 7 lbs and 15.4 ounces and was 19.75 inches long. To her royal family, Father Bryan and Mother Jenny, did she so belong. Her arrival was hastened by doctors that day. She would come in the form of medical induction, otherwise known as, her "BIRTH" day. She exited her Mother's tired womb after twenty-one long hours of travail and thus entered into the realm of Charlotte, otherwise known as, Pineville. The year was 2020, the said day the second of the month of April. You see, Once upon a time, there was a handsome prince, who took the hand of a young princess. Their love for each other led to laughter, fun times and much bliss! A fertilized egg appeared soon after their love began to grow. It was once smaller than the size of a grain of sand, did you know? In October, month three, mom's belly began to show. While preparing to become parents of a little princess... Mom and dad attended Bradley Method® natural birth prep which is the best! Your Birth Helper and team would help them navigate their way through all the hard work Mom & Dad would go through that fine day. Pitocin, followed by amniotomy, hastened the levels of pain. And, soon mom was tired and thinking she couldn't bear much more, if no gain. Her nurse, thought she was helping, by suggesting an epidural, to bring your mom relief. Not once, not twice, not three, not four, but five times, I counted in disbelief. I frankly informed her, talking about medication was not in her birth plan and should cease. You see, Covid germs had entered the world and made everyone sad. Doula Pam and her YBH Team, were restricted from being present to help Dad. I reminded the couple to release all their fears, help would remain constant in the form of what they call FaceTime, my dear. Mom and Dad assumed various positions on the hunt for their baby, while using deep breathing, low registered noises and even little grunts. Helping to guide the way, Pam stayed on the phone twelve hours that day. The marathon into motherhood requires both strength and endurance. Jenny's expulsion contractions were quite different than most experience. The time it takes to expel a newborn baby can vary greatly. From a few short minutes, to many long hours and can definitely break you. Bryan became her Knight in shining armor and helped his wife, overcome every obstacle to help bring baby Edin into the world with support and love, drug-free and all natural. Doula Pam, captured as many special moments as she could along the way, in hopes when Edin is older and has questions about labor/birth you will say... that proper education, physical preparation and weekly training is what helped them achieve Symbiotic Birth, which most find impossible to accomplish, unless they BELIEVE! Your Birth Helper and Teams, would like to extend a ginormous Congratulations and a very HAPPY "BIRTH"DAY to you ALL... THE END!

Nothing thrills me more than to receive a phone call from a mom who just needs to chat, ask a few questions and have someone listen. Also, to offer encouragement after a discouraging doctors appointment. Near term expectant moms have those darn hormones that often try to weigh on their minds and can potentially alter their upcoming birth stories. I encourage labor coaches, medical providers and other support people to understand, "There IS a difference between simply supporting a mom and actually Encouraging her!" This super mom, Ashley says to me out of frustration, "Maybe, I will just get an epidural?" I replied, "No you will not, you will let your husband coach you, have your cry and then get your head back on straight." She didn't really want or need an epidural, but when we have unexpected obstacles to overcome, labor comes on quickly, we get disturbed or our relaxation is challenged, etc. that is how our near term / laboring mind works. I am happy to say her husband, Derek, helped her avoid epidural and together they gave birth naturally to their third baby! This is one of the greatest compliments and testaments to the valuable work we as childbirth educators and doulas offer. 🙌 Even though today is Halloween, I just light up like a Christmas tree when a previous birth family client text me photos of their new baby and share they successfully met their laboring goals together. (And, extra special when this mom refused to allow her husband to even help with the first two 😆) Turns out Dad was a way better coach than she ever imagined! ❤️ Ashley is exceptionally grateful to her husband for helping her push through late labor / transition drug-free. His decision to help her push through naturally also paid off big in the end since their baby experienced difficulties at birth and entered the world with an Apgar score of 1 out of 10. Special thanks to the amazing staff of Atrium Health Pineville, their midwife Lori Williamson, CNM, their labor and delivery nurses and NICU support team for all the TLC shown to the Bulmer Family! Your Birth Helper salutes you all for taking such good care of them through this scary situation. An October, near Halloween baby scare its parents?.... no that would never happen! Something tells me this feisty baby boy will make scaring his parents, each year during the month of October, a new family tradition.

Couple trains 12 weeks with Your Birth Helper to prepare her body to give birth epidural free in Northside Gwinnett Medical Center.

Together, Mom & Dad execute a beautiful drug free natural birth! Think it can’t be done... better think again! With training, you can too!

Their Birth- Their Way, even during Covid restrictions, with Virtual Doula Assistance! With TRAINING - You CAN TOO!

The Tolbert Family invites you to share their journey~ written by second time Mom, Amanda. Photo's by Your Birth Helper Doula's, Pamela Sauls & Nancy Cook. Wow – three weeks has already passed since Boone Samson made his way into the world. The world that turned a bit upside down these days with COVID-19 reminding folks that we are a part of a community and challenging folks to go the extra mile to keep their neighbors safe. I am devastated by the increased death toll, not just in the United States, but all around the world. And as we try and combat this deadly virus; we are pushing ourselves into what could be a recession. Definitely a difficult time in our history. But as my family and I “social distance” or more preferred, as we “physically distance” ourselves, I’m taking the time to reflect on many things, one of which was Boone’s birth. With both of our boys, we chose the Bradley Method of childbirth. First, I do want to say it’s easier to commit to the twelve-week training with the first, because let’s face it, juggling schedules of a parent in school, working parent, and a toddler – 2 hours of night class a week for 12 weeks is tricky. We were well educated by our Bradley instructor, Carole, prior to the birth of our first son, Barrett Mason. Before Boone’s birth, we recommitted to Bradley, read through our workbook, stayed close to the eating and exercise regimen to remain low risk, and practiced relaxation. We also freshened up with our doula Dream Team – Pam and Nancy with Your Birth Helper, through a labor workshop and preparation phone calls (which included the direction to eat dates to prepare the uterus for labor – honestly, not my favorite, like at all 😊, drink labor prep tea, and you know however else you soften the cervix *wink* 😉). So, how did we end up knowing about or choosing to educate ourselves with Bradley and hiring Your Birth Helper? Well, it was a journey. In 2017, when we found out we were pregnant, we had no idea what to expect. We went to doctor’s appointments, as directed, and figured that our doctors would tell us what to do. Then due to some experiences that were stuck in my head, I started to ask questions. I started asking my OB about the effects of an epidural and what about having a baby without one. Um… she laughed. Literally laughed in my face and said she had no clue why anyone would want to have a baby without an epidural. I gave her a blank stare. She came back around and said, you can’t just walk into a hospital and have a natural, drug-free birth without training like you are going to run a marathon. She said, don’t get me wrong, I love drug-free births, because the doulas have the rooms calm, quiet, and smelling good. Well… naturally, my next question – what the heck was a doula? Sounded a bit too crunchy for me. She emailed me some recommended doulas. And that list was on my desk for weeks before I decided to call and see what this was all about. So, after going down the list, I finally got to Pam Sauls, Your Birth Helper. She answers and I said um… I’m calling because I’d like to know what a doula is. Pam went to talking for an hour and not necessarily just about a doula, but about what I wanted from my birth experience. Basically, I had nothing. I had no answers and no clue. I initially thought that the OB would tell me what to do, but over the past few weeks/months, I realized that we had choices. I had no idea what those choices were or how to decide. Later that week, Pam came to consult with us. We decided that we wanted to train via the Bradley Method and prepare for a drug-free birth. However, at that time, we didn’t decide that drug-free is what we wanted (I didn’t know if I could handle it). But we wanted to train to be able to, in the event that it was too late for an epidural, or I wasn’t a candidate for an epidural – whatever the case could be, we wanted to be prepared for that marathon of no drugs to make sure I could get through it. As we went further along into the pregnancy, through our Bradley training, we learned the benefits of drug-free childbirth for the baby and the complications that epidurals and interventions could cause to the labor process, mom, and baby. We then decided that we wanted to pursue a natural, drug-free birth. Well after 30 weeks into my pregnancy, we decided to switch healthcare providers at the recommendation of Pam and Nancy. We finished out our pregnancy exams and birth of our son with Piedmont OBGYN. This practice and their partner hospital supported natural childbirth and had almost as many midwives as OBs. Overall, we have been very satisfied with Piedmont and would recommend then to friends and family. Midwife Sage Caught Barrett Now, childbirth is not one size fits all, contrary to what some of your loved ones may think. Your moms labor and birth may be like yours, maybe not. Your own pregnancies and births may be similar to each other, but likely, not. Doctors and midwives have a tough job. The good ones balance the science and their experiences with the needs and desires of the soon to be mamas - the art. At times its not easy. It requires trust. Lots of trust! Thankfully, I had some amazing and trusting midwives and nurses to help me bring my boys into this world. With Barrett, I had been in second stage labor (pushing) for several hours. If you run out of energy to push, well… you may not be able to have the birth experience you had planned. My midwife, Sage, started to let us know that she was concerned about how long I could push, how long I would have the endurance. So was I! I told her I didn’t know, but I was going to push with all I had. After a few more push-with-everything-I-had pushes, she leaned over and told my husband that I have what it takes, and we are going to keep going. Leading into hour 4 of second stage labor, Barrett was born. Boone was getting close to 42 weeks and by reports from the latest ultrasound and OB, the potential to be quite a large baby. The last few weeks, these little's just pack on weight, so the longer they are on the inside, the bigger they will be. And for some reason, my babies like to stay on the inside well over 40 weeks. Tammy, my midwife, asked me during my final appointment how I felt about the estimation of his weight. Anyone that knows me knows how I get about the weight of my babies in the womb. I worry about it constantly and I don’t like for anyone to mention that they think I’ll have a big baby, because Aaron is big – or whatever crap, I’ve heard it all. So, needless to say, I am very sensitive about it. Pam and Nancy, from Your Birth Helper, were supportive in building me up and not letting me focus on that. Some people have big babies, some don’t. It’s not necessarily the size of the spouse. Factors like what you eat during pregnancy and how long the babies stays in the womb, can help determine the size of your baby – even more so than the size of your partner. Both my boys would likely have been 7-8 pounds if they would have been born at 40 weeks. Tammy went on to tell me that a mother knows. She said a mother’s guess of her baby’s weight is far more accurate than ultrasounds and even their estimates. And that I shouldn’t fear the estimates (which were as high as 11 pounds), but trust in myself. Now, Boone was a big baby at birth, just 2 oz. shy of 10 pounds. But that conversation, that day, meant so much to me. It meant that trust existed, and she let me know that I am the mom and that this isn’t all science. It was so encouraging. Two days later, she along with Pam and Aaron by my side, helped me birth Boone. So, back to before when I was acquiring about what a doula was. Well, here is the answer. If you have Your Birth Helper, a doula is the most amazing person you and your partner can have during this marathon and life changing event. A doula is your friend. A doula is an extension of your family.  A doula is one of the best decisions we have ever made. Following our birth plan and having a natural, drug-free birth was of the utmost importance to us. I am not sure that we would have been able to achieve our goals and follow our plan as close as we could (birth is unpredictable, sometimes you must pivot) without Pam and Nancy by our side. Pam was with us through the labor and birth of both boys. She, along with my husband, helped me maintain my composure (best I could), help me focus on breathing… but more than that – helped me to move the boys down and out. It is definitely called labor for a reason and your body is so capable of doing it. However, there are 2 ways to labor, you can cause your body to take longer or you can help the process (as painful and uncomfortable as it may be). For me, that is where I found enormous value in having her there. She made me do things that were uncomfortable, kept me moving, and kept me doing things that helped my boys get into the right position and ultimately, come out. I’m pretty sure I told her no 500 times during labor, but was compliant every time. Why – because of trust. I trusted Pam to do her job. I trusted her experience and our partnership. She’s the best. She’s not afraid to get dirty and stand up for you. She is there for you, but not blindly. She has a lot of experience and helps direct you when things are going your way, but even more importantly when they are not. She makes sure you understand that decisions lead to other decisions and potentially interventions. She also makes sure you are educated. That you go into your birth prepared for what’s to come and prepared for things you didn’t plan for. She will be your biggest cheerleader, but doesn’t just sugar coat things. And, she believes in the power of your partner and yall’s bond. She is not and will never call herself a labor coach. To her, that job is already taken by your partner. Now back to Boone’s birth…. Even before getting to the hospital, Pam and Nancy were there for me. After I rounded out the 40th week, we started talking about induction. The flu had come through our house and hit my husband and toddler. I really think my body didn’t allow labor to start with the sickness in our home. I think prayers were answered that Boone stay safe. After the flu came around, then I got sick with a virus causing an extremely wet cough. I coughed so much for so long that I was certain I had broken ribs. Every cough came with extreme anxiety. So, my body took some time to heal.  Another week came and went with no sign of labor – just a nasty cough that kept me in pain and up all night. My next appointment, we had to talk about an induction. I was getting close to 42 weeks and although the non-stress test and ultrasound showed a healthy baby, lots of amniotic fluid, and a healthy placenta, they were worried about his size. Boone wasn’t large for being the gestational age of 42 weeks, but the longer they are inside, it’s inevitable that they will grow larger. The head is built to morph in the birth canal, but oddly enough what they worry about are the shoulders. I figured shoulders were more mallable than a head, but I guess not. I was strongly opposed to an induction and held off the discussions as long as I could. Reason being is that I wanted labor to be as natural as possible and induction (though sometimes necessary) starts the process off unnaturally – which itself isn’t bad, but what other things could happen and where could those decisions lead you. Those were my fears. Pam was there for me. She worked and worked to help get me into labor from Thursday afternoon to Saturday morning. We walked miles and miles up hills together. She took me all over town to eat food that I normally wouldn’t eat to get my stomach rumbling. She helped me relax and take contractions in ways that would help the baby get into the right positions. She helped me stay calm and out of my own head. She says sometimes her biggest challenge is people in the mother’s life. She helps get things moving and get girls into labor, despite sometimes well meaning unsolicited comments, some even from complete strangers, the things people say and well, labor stops again. Stress releases adrenaline and adrenaline stops or slows labor. Labor is a big deal for your body and your emotions can impact it – adrenaline can slow labor and being sad or mad can have an effect. Pam says you are to be elevator music – don’t get too high or too low, be consistent. Saturday morning, Pam, Aaron, and I went into the hospital together for my scheduled induction. Yes, everything we did to get into labor, got me some early labor contractions, but unfortunately, I wasn’t in an active labor pattern by Saturday morning. My induction wasn’t what I pictured and what I had been afraid of. The plan was to have my water broken by my midwife. Initially, that scared me. Because in my head, I wondered well what’s next if that didn’t get things going. But with Pam, I walked into the hospital Saturday morning having contractions. My fear was gone, because I felt that if I had progressed this much naturally (with the help of Pam), that the breaking of my waters would just be the push that my body needed to get into active labor. My water was broke at 9AM and by 10AM, I was in active labor. Pam and my husband were right there by my side as I endured some pretty strong contractions. Pam made sure that I was sinking into them, giving into them and not doing things counterproductive to moving the baby down. Aaron held me up – physically and emotionally. With each contraction, I sank into him, giving him my full body weight and also, sank into his words to breathe and constantly reminding me how strong I was and how proud of me he was. We walked the halls of the maternity ward, stopping what seemed like every couple of steps. Up next was the tub, but labor had progressed so quickly that we were close to second stage labor, so we had to forgo the tub. The tub was my bargaining chip with Pam. She wanted me to walk the halls, but I was having strong contractions and told her no. Not because I was afraid to walk, but because I was worried about not being in complete control with a contraction came… not being able to relax. That’s what scared me while I was in labor the most, that my body was doing something that I needed to participate in, but had no control over. It was important that I relax and sink down into contractions, but what if I was in the middle of changing positions, how do I quickly get in a comfortable, relaxing position. Anyway, after some negotiating, I agreed to walk the halls if the next stop was the tub, so I could really relax. At about 11:30AM, I had to start laboring down. Which for me has been one of the toughest parts of labor. I felt the extreme urge to push, however my cervix was only dilated to 8 cm. This is when it got a little crazy and both Pam and Tammy came to my rescue. I will be honest; laboring down is not easy. Everything you have in your entire body wants you to push with everything you have, but you can’t. You must wait. Pushing too early can cause swelling of the cervix, which does absolutely the opposite of what you want. You want a larger opening, not smaller. Tammy kept calm and kept telling me how strong I was and how soon we would be able to meet my little boy. Pam kept me to keep moving, changing positions every 30 minutes or so. At 12:30 p.m., finally, I was told that I could give in to the urge to push and I did. Thirty minutes later, Boone shot out like a rocket. Or so we said, until we realized he was almost 10 pounds. Then we changed our tune to shot out like a cannonball – felt more appropriate. They were prepared for his shoulders to be tight, but Tammy was able to help him out with no problem and very quickly. And, Nancy arrived just in time to capture some fabulous birth photos. As soon as he was born, we were skin to skin and nothing else mattered. As I laid with my new baby on my chest and my body feeling lifeless, I clung to Aaron. I clung to him, because he is my person. I love him and am so thankful that he has been by my side while I bring our boys into the world, and every step of the way afterward. Looking back, I count our blessings every day. Boone was healthy. I was healthy. Thankfully! Childbirth is unpredictable. I believe keeping it simple and natural, and having Pam, Aaron, and Tammy by my side were the real reasons I could have a natural birth and a healthy boy. Boone came out with his cord wrapped around his neck and his heart rate would drop during a contraction. But thankfully come back up. Pam made sure I kept moving into positions that were more favorable to get him out quicker and keep some of the pressure off him. There were clearly positions he could tolerate better than others. I am thankful for Tammy’s patience and calm demeanor. She was smart about our safety, but stayed calm and encouraging. I could not even tell from her face that anything was going on until Aaron told me about the cord and his heart rate roller coaster after he was born. Enjoy this final short slideshow... Thanks Pam, Nancy and Your Birth Helper Teams for all that you do! Much love, Tolbert Family – party of 4 😊